Not the American Average - 23 (Radford)
age : 23
Let's get the bad stuff out of the way first, shall we? I'm short, my grammar sucks, I'm skinny, I dislike texting, I can be a total asshole, and I have commitment issues. I don't want to marry you and I sure don't want to have kids with you. So if that's in your dating checklist and you use the term "long-term relationship" lots, the exit is at the top of the page (it's the back button genius.) Nice knowing you. Fuck off.
Still here? Yikes. Save yourself. But if you'd rather keep reading. . .I'm not going to stop you, I can't, or I would.
Anyway, the intro is mostly to help scare off the super serious crowd. If you can handle the above-mentioned "bad stuff" we can probably get along. I'm actually probably one of the coolest nice-assholes you'll ever meet. Make a horrible traditional boyfriend but hey that's why I'm posting here.
Realistically I'm kinda tired of the hook-up scene, don't get me wrong drunk sex rocks, but after a while you get that dangerous itch of wanting a little bit more. Not the I'm-lonely-want-a-baby-and-family stage but the point where it'd be nice to have a cool girl that I could actually hang out with as like (darest I say boyfriend/girlfriend) but in a very relaxed not serious manner. Get a little emotional attachment going, you know?
I'm talking taking a pretty girl to dinner occasionally, movies, camping, cool shit like that. Granted I'm a broke college kid, I have a job so I can take you on dates, but it's not a big six figure job, so don't get excited. Budget stuff fucking rocks, seriously if you have to pay your college bills, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Lastly it would probably be good if you have a high sex drive and aren't waiting for marriage. I'm a little bit of a slut but I can keep it under wraps if you can. We should still end up fucking. Not saying we need to jump in each others pants on the first several dates but if we don't have sexual chemistry and want to fuck each other, than what the hell are we doing? It's generally a good idea to fuck me before we go out; because you may end up getting molested in the movie theatre as a result. . .I have poor impulse control.
This turned out to be a pretty damn long ad, so if you made it this far might as well email me. You've already got a minute or so invested so go ahead and let me know what's on your mind. Just gotta be tolerant of my hippy-ass and I'll return the gestures of tolerance towards any of your little perks.
Oh, and if you want to email me to tell me what an asshole/douche/pig/whore/dumb-ass/crazy bastard I am then feel free. I'd say fuck off again but if you made it this far it's not going to work anyway. Looking forward to the colorful replies!
- do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers